


i wanna be the one to light up the dark in you

by callumsmitchells



Series: ballum week 2020 [5]
Category: EastEnders
Genre: (Ish) - Freeform, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Physical Abuse, ballum week 2020, bw2020, forbidden relationship, gay slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:07:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24678979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callumsmitchells/pseuds/callumsmitchells
Summary: The Mitchells and the Highways hate each other. Nobody knows why, but the families are mortal enemies. And that means, Ben and Callum have to hate each other...except, they don’t.or, a separation fic, but not separated by choice.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: ballum week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1778716
Comments: 13
Kudos: 109





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: @callumsmitchells

The Mitchells and the Highways. Two Walford families that couldn’t ever mix. Nobody seems to know quite when the feud between the two families started, but it certainly wasn’t over. Nor did it seem like it would ever be. 

In school, Ben would refuse to be sat anywhere near Callum in any class, claiming that a fight would happen if he was so much as forced to do that. Callum would be the same, and would demand to see Ben’s timetable on the first day of school every year, just to see which lessons he would ask to be moved from. Just like seemingly everyone else around them, neither Ben nor Callum knew exactly why their two families were at war, but that didn’t stop them from adding to the animosity that festered between the two bloodlines.

That was, until their final year of school. They had grown up together, from scrawny looking year sevens who spent all their free time glaring at one another, to final year sixth formers, ready to move on in the world. But it all changed that year. The hatred somehow wilted away, and people were suddenly no longer afraid of them clashing heads. It was a strange time, everyone returning to education in September, ready for the inevitable first day arguments of who would move from which class into another, and who would be the first to sit in the area that they had both claimed. But that never came. The tension that was usually thick in the air around them, had disintegrated in the summer months, and nobody around them knew exactly when, or even how, that had happened. In retrospect, it all changed in the months leading up to Ben’s party. It was his summer party, and for a Mitchell, it was a rite of passage. Each member of the family would have one, the summer they turned eighteen. That was the age they would first get into the boxing ring without a head guard on, and show the rest of the clan what they were made of. By eighteen, Mitchell’s would usually already have a criminal record, and if they didn’t, their clean reputation wouldn’t last long at all. But first, they had to have a party. And it had become a thing for recent generations of Mitchell’s, that each party would be bigger and louder and cause more ruckus than the last.

There was one rule though. 

_ Under no circumstances, was a Highway allowed anywhere near the party. _

It was a rule that had never been broken, not at a single one of the countless parties that had happened in the past. A Highway had never been invited, nor had they ever turned up. It wasn’t just that it was a rule for the Mitchell’s, it was also something that never happened because a Highway wouldn’t be seen dead near a Mitchell party. 

That was, until Callum sat on the wall, outside Ben’s party, watching as the sun fell down over the skyscrapers. He had a bottle of lager in his hand, floating between two fingers. It was nearly empty now, but still he waited. He knew Ben would appear soon. He knew him too well now, he was ashamed to say. In the summer months, they had been meeting up secretly, hiding out in spots only they knew, drinking cheap cider and throwing punches at a boxing bag. They both heralded it a rebellion against their parents, though they knew they would never speak of it. It was just theirs, shared kisses and messy hand jobs in run down buildings and back alleys.

Music burst out of the house, loud thumping noises invading Callum’s mind, surrounding him momentarily. Then it was muffled once more. 

“You can’t be here.” Ben spoke out, footsteps on the gravel getting louder and louder. 

Callum smirked, and looked down at the bottle in his hands. “Thought I’d come and surprise the party boy. It’s not even your birthday, lucky you.”

“My family’s here.” Ben said. “You can’t be here.”

“You’ve said that.” Callum pointed out. “I’m not going in. Just wanted to see you.” It would be romantic, if not for the fact they were supposed to be mortal enemies. 

Ben huffed out a laugh, the alcohol in his veins not nearly enough to deal with his family if they saw him talking to a Highway. “Well now you’ve seen me.” 

“Come for a walk.” Callum asked, nodding up the road, which leads to a secluded area that nobody ever really invades. “You don’t have to say you’re with me, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Ben relents, looking between his house and Callum. “Five minutes.” He steps forward, overtaking Callum as he walked towards the secluded area, shrouded in trees and in the shade. 

The moment they were separated from the party goers, and everyone who has spend years and years separating the two families, Ben was pushed against a large oak tree, Callum’s lips against his own. He was pliant underneath Callum’s looming figure, large hands invading his body, skin tingling under the touch. He leaned up, trying to get as close to Callum as humanly possible. Callum grinned, knowing what he was doing to Ben. They loved it. The pent up hatred of each others families, the lust for each other, knowing they could never be together. It was a risk they were willing to take, and they loved the thrill of it all. 

Callum pulls back, watching as Ben instinctively chased his lips, eyes closed and lips now red raw, glossed over with spit. He runs his fingers through Ben’s hair, and laughs. “You good?”

“You do that on purpose.” Ben laughs, pushing his fists against Callum’s chest, pushing him away for just a second, before pulling him back in. 

“What?” Callum laughs

Ben rolls his eyes. “Make me want to stop all of this.”

Callum leans down, his lips excruciatingly close to Ben’s ear, the heat of his breath against skin, causing goosebumps. “You can do that yourself. I don’t do have to kiss you for that to happen.”

“You know we can’t be together.” Ben states bluntly. He winces, and fails at attempting to keep a moan suppressed when Callum’s lips attaches to his neck. 

“But it’s fun, isn’t it?” Callum asks, blowing old air against the wet skin of Ben’s neck, tingling the skin.

“Course.” Ben grins, fingers curling in Callum’s hair, connecting their bodies together again. 

It couldn’t happen. It just couldn’t. Mitchell’s and Highway’s weren’t meant to connect, not even as associates. They certainly couldn’t date. Not for as long as the patriarch of each family were still around, and even then it would still be difficult. Which is why it was better that their feelings for each other were repressed, and they moved on to different people, forgetting about all the stolen moments they shared together.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you all asked for it. sorry for this chapter lol  
> BUT - it does have a happy ending eventually
> 
> warning: this chapter does contain gay slurs (use of the word 'queer') and also a fight scene 
> 
> tumblr: @callumsmitchells

The sun rises over Walford and creeps through the half opened curtains, streams of light flooding into the bedroom. Callum has his arm stretched out across his bed, though a numbness ached in his forearm, but he didn’t care at all. The ache was worth it, because it connected Callum to the sleeping man. He watches as Ben sleeps, head cupped in the crook of his elbow, skin smoothed out of all the worry lines that had been invading his forehead over the past few months. He looks at ease, and Callum was more than grateful for that. It made sneaking Ben in, way past midnight when the rest of the house was already asleep in alcohol infused slumbers, all the more worth it.

It was peaceful. The world didn’t seem so harsh, when they were together. But it didn’t happen often - barely even at all. Most of the time, it would be longing looks across streets, or phone calls made in the dead of night, whispered hushes discussing how they feel about each other, and how they both wished they could be together. But that could never happen unfortunately, not without a lot of pain and disappointment and fear. 

  
“Babe.” Callum whispers, almost melting as he watches Ben’s lips twitch into a smile, moving closer and closer into Callum’s body just because he heard his voice. “Ben, you need to wake up.”

  
Ben rolls closer to Callum, his face squashed into Callum’s bicep, arm wrapping around his body, holding them both there. “Why?” He groans, eyes still tightly shut.

  
Callum huffs out a laugh, but lets his fingers trace up and down Ben’s side nonetheless. “My dad’ll be up soon. He barely acknowledges the fact I’m gay, so seeing you here will finish him off.”

  
“Well your dads a dickhead.” Ben replies, shifting his body so that it’s now hovering over Callum, arms either side of his head.

  
“I know he is.” Callum responds, lifting a hand up to run his thumb over Ben’s cheek. “But so is yours.”

  
Ben crumbles, and falls into Callum’s hold. “I know.” He kisses Callum softly. “Can you just hold me?”

  
Who was he to say no to that? “Five minutes.” Callum smiles, running his fingers through Ben’s hair, who was now pressed to his chest, fingers tracing his skin.

  
Callum knew that it was a mistake, letting Ben stay just that bit longer, but he was weak. He needed Ben around him for as long as he could have him - fuck the repercussions.

  
Ben melts into Callum’s hold, eyes fluttering closed.

  
“Don’t fall asleep on me.” Callum chuckles, looking down at Ben.

  
“You’re so comfy.” Ben grins, turning to look at Callum. “Give me a kiss.”

  
Callum complies, letting Ben move further up his body, linking their lips together in a slow and yet passionate embrace. It was their moment, theirs and theirs alone. With the birds outside chirping, golden rays breaking into the confines of Callum’s bedroom, casting over them - it was theirs. Ben’s fingers scratch through the stubble that litters Callum’s face, whilst Callum’s hands rest on Ben’s waist, holding them together. Their legs are locked, twisted around one another and it should be uncomfortable, but it’s not. It’s far from that. Ben pulls back from the kiss, lifting himself to look at Callum. He strokes Callum’s cheek, and speaks. “I need to go, don’t I?”

  
Callum tries to speak, hands tightening around Ben’s waist, but a voice at the bedroom door booms around them. 

  
“Yeah.” Jonno says, anger evident in his voice and his face, redness rising up inside of him, eyes furrowed as he pads overs to Callum’s bed, pulling the sheets back and dragging Ben off of his son. “You dirty fucking queer!” He screams, punching Ben square in the face, causing Ben to swing back, an almighty crack as knuckles met Ben’s jaw, heard clearly over Jonno’s screams as they both erupted in a brawl, Callum trying to find his way between the two of them. He couldn’t just sit back and watch Ben get beaten up. 

  
Blood falls from Ben’s nose, dripping down over his lips and then falling onto the floor, red marks suddenly appearing on his skin from where he was hit over and over again. Tears erupt from both Callum and Ben, and suddenly, Jonno pulls back from the fight, pride evident on his face as he watches Ben cower away from him. He steps over Ben, who shakes in fear, clutching a t shirt to his chest, blood droplets staining it. “Now get the fuck out of my house. Let it be a warning to all the Mitchell scum. You come near my son again, and I will kill you.” 

  
Ben looks up at Callum, broken. Tears pool in his eyes, threatening to fall onto his skin, as he wishes for Callum to cradle him, tell him that everything will be okay. But that doesn’t come. His skin ached, his bones too, and he knows for a fact that bruises will litter his body for days to come, and he would be lucky to not have broken his nose, judging by the amount of blood that was still gushing out of it. “Please.” Ben pleads, weakly. “Please Callum.”

  
Callum walks over to Ben, and holds out his hand, helping him back to his feet. “Just leave, Ben. It’s better for us both.” 

  
“I’m not leaving you here, with _that_!” Ben whisper-shouts, wincing as he pulls his shirt over his body, knot in his shoulder causing him havoc. 

  
Callum presses his hand to Ben’s cheek softly, gently wiping away his tears. “Please just go Ben. Please. For me.”

  
And then suddenly Callum was left with nothing but his own thoughts, turning his back on Ben, and hearing his soft footsteps fading further and further away until he could no longer hear them. The only thing of Ben that remained in Callum’s bedroom was his blood and one lonely sock, sitting crumpled up on the floor in the corner of the room. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the final chapter! i hope you enjoy x
> 
> tumblr: @callumsmitchells

It was darkness everywhere. The light that was once in Ben's life, has been ripped away from him completely, and it was no longer full on sunshine and bright colours and birds chirping away, nor was it happiness, or laughter shared between stolen kisses under the midnight stars, backs pressed against concrete walls, or hushed whispers over crackling phones. Ben's face is littered in cuts and bruises, and already dried blood, when he turns the key in his front door, trying to not wake his dad up. It didn't quite go to plan though, because Phil has surprisingly good hearing, and walked out from the living room into the hallway to greet Ben. Though his face turned into thunder the second he saw the state of his son, all battered and bruised. Ben looks to the floor, and attempts to walk straight past. He can't answer any of the questions his dad would have for him. His arm flies out, grabbing Ben, causing him to wince at the pressure on his collarbone. _Fuck_.

"Who did this?" Phil spits, anger bubbling up inside him, though Ben's unsure as to why. Maybe it's because someone else did this to Ben. 

Ben stays silent regardless, wishing the ground could open up and swallow him whole. 

"I said." Phil growls, face red and full of anger. "Who did this?" 

"Jonno." Ben says weakly, as if he just doesn't care about it anymore. Why would he? His dad would find out eventually, of course he would. Nobody keeps secrets from the great Phil Mitchell, not if they wanted to keep the use of both their legs. "Jonno Highway."

"I'll kill him. I'll fucking kill him." Phil fumes, pulling out his phone, and Ben just knows, _knows_ , that he's only a few short seconds away from getting everyone together to go and batter Jonno. It's pathetic, really. Ben doesn't give a fuck, Jonno can die for all he cares. But Callum. Even after everything, Callum siding with Jonno, Ben having to leave with half his heart left behind, he still cares, more than anything. He can't risk Callum being caught up in the war, can't risk him being hurt. 

"Why?" Phil asks, phone against his ear. "Why did he do this?" 

Ben scoffs in disbelief. "Because I'm gay, Dad. And so's Callum. He caught us together, and this was the result." Anger flashes through Ben in bursts. He knows this won't end well, not for him, but he doesn't have it in him to care. Not anymore. "I'm sick of this feud. Do you even know why the families hate each other? Because I don't! It's ruined my life, it's ruined Callum's life. We hated each other for so long, and for no reason! It's pointless. You, you and Jonno, you're both just as bad as each other. Two peas in a pod. Both just as abusive and vile as each other. Like a match made in hel-" Ben is stopped short in his tracks when a fist is whacked against his cheek, knocking him back. 

He's against the floor, body in agony, a fresh wound now opening up on his face, and Ben can just feel the blood dripping out of his nose again. Phil towers over him, mocking him. "You pack your bags, and get out of my house. I don't care where you go, I never want to see you again." 

How could Ben go against that? It's what he's wished for his whole life, to escape the shackles that his dad introduced to him at birth. 

The moment that Phil is facing away from Ben, still with a rough scowl of disgust printed across his face, Ben gets himself up, wincing at the pain in his ribs. It doesn't take him long at all to pack his bags, shoving some clothes into a sports bag, not really having any worldly possessions that he longs to have with him. It's a terrifying thought really, not having anything of any substance that belongs to him. Or, it would be, if Ben allowed himself to think. The clock ticks, counting down each second it takes for Ben to finish packing his life away. It's an incessant tick, tick, tick, and Ben doesn't even realise but it doesn't take long for tears to flood from his eyes, the adrenaline of the moment fading away, leaving aches and pains in its wake. Most of all, his heart hurt. Ached, even, as he remembers Callum allowing himself to stay in that house, with that man. That monster. He shakes his head, as if the motion would somehow erase the memory, and wipes his eyes dry. There's a zip of his bags, and he shoves them on his shoulders, wincing at the pain. There's a crackle of the gravel, as he walks away from the only home he has ever known, and it's almost reminiscent of the time he walked towards Callum, during his summer party, back when it all changed. 

His feet take him somewhere, no planned destination, and he eventually ends up in _their_ spot. It's cold, and empty, and Ben could only beg for it to not feel like that. He could only wish to have Callum back there with him, playing soft music from their phones as their hands tremble over their bodies, losing themselves in shared kisses, hiding from the world and the danger it poses. There's silence surrounding him, bar the rustle of leaves blowing in the breeze, and the tweeting of birds. It's a surprisingly nice day, but Ben can't enjoy it. He sits there, dried blood uncomfortable on his face, his cheeks taut from the pain of how bruised they are. He breathes out, and looks out across the river, noticing someone crossing the bridge, edging closer to him. Ben knows who it is instantly. Nobody else ever comes here. 

Ben scrambles to his feet, not caring about the pain he was in, because he sees Callum's face the second that they're on the same side of the river. 

Blood is smeared around his face, lip completely bust, and his eye, well, Ben's not at all convinced he can see it out of it, it's that black and bulging. 

"Cal." Ben whimpers, holding his hand out to delicately cradle Callum's cheek, the way he knows he loves. Callum winces, and pulls away, his skin too tender to be touched. "What happened?"

Callum looks at Ben, and attempts to smile, though it falls short of his usual beaming grin that appears on his face every time the two of them are together. "What do you think?"

"My dad?" Ben asks, hand running down Callum's arm, resting at his hand as his fingers skim Callum's. 

"No." Callum shakes his head. "Mine. That's why I let you go. I knew that if I took the beating, it wouldn't be as bad for you. I hate seeing you hurt Ben, it nearly killed me watching him do that to you."

Ben smiles softly. "I can handle myself." 

"Trust me, I know." Callum rolls his eyes. "I just care about you so much Ben. I'm so sorry. For everything. My dad. All of this." 

Ben shakes his head, stepping closer to Callum, wrapping his arms around the taller man, waiting patiently for only a few seconds before he's able to feel Callum reciprocate the embrace. "You don't need to apologise. Especially on behalf of him. He doesn't matter. We do." 

They hold their embrace in silence for a while, needing the hug from each other more than ever before, and now they don't have to care about anyone finding them. They were free, in a bittersweet way. 

"I've been kicked out." Ben says, watching as the water in the river ripples over Callum's shoulder. 

"So have I." Callum admits. "Didn't have time to pack anything, but I managed to get some money." 

Ben huffs out a laugh, and pulls back from the hug momentarily. "Knew I loved you for a reason."

"Love, eh?" Callum raises an eyebrow, hands against Ben's waist, holding them in place. "A few years ago you wouldn't be caught dead saying that to me." 

"Yeah, well." Ben starts. "Things change. Want to find a hotel, Mr Moneybags?"

"Only with you." Callum admits, smile on his face, not caring at all about the strain it was putting on the cut that stained his bottom lip.


End file.
